Friday, February 27, 2009

Quick to speak, slow to listen

I'll probably never know whether it was spurred on by Wednesday's blog entry or a good afternoon nap, but DH was in the mood to talk. Though I was tired (I didn't get an afternoon nap) and mentally drifting, I was desperate to keep the conversation going. He was going on and on (in a good way) about the boys and how they've grown and changed. We discussed sending our oldest to a two-day preschool in the fall, and whether it would be beneficial or not. He raved about the pressure cooker that unexpectedly arrived in the mail (thanks, mom and dad!) He pondered financial decisions we would need to make if our house actually sold in this market or if he were offered a job in another part of the country. He explained the different job opportunities he may have in the next few years, and which ones really excite him (ooh, statistics!) I was able to sit and listen and ask questions. It was wonderful... and surprisingly humbling.

On Wednesday I shared that I would love to have more opportunities to sit and talk with DH, but didn't think he was very interested. Last night, though, he was. What had changed? After writing out my frustration, after realizing how much I desired a deep conversation, and after spending an hour doing exactly that, it has occurred to me that I may have been casting the first stone. Perhaps I've not been doing my part. For me to learn more about DH, I have to be willing to listen to him without changing the subject to something that interests ME! In order to listen, I have to stop talking, stop nagging, and give him a chance to speak. How often have I failed to listen? How often has he grown frustrated by my reluctance to learn of the burdens he carries? How often have I selfishly put my desire to talk above my responsibility to love and honor my husband? How often are we blind to our own sins? Forgive us, Lord.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?" - Matthew 7:3-4

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